Shamaree is the founder of Shamaree LAB™, an intimacy education and coaching brand built around The Intimacy Shift™, a framework for understanding your relationship with intimacy, not fixing it. She's also a licensed therapist and the founder of [Re]Defining Relationships Therapy, a separate clinical practice. Explore the free Assessment, workshops, and resources below, and join the newsletter for reflections on desire, intimacy, and self-trust.
Desire, Response, Performance, or Anxiety
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Not everything that feels like wanting is the same thing. In any given moment, what looks like desire could actually be one of four different experiences: Desire — I genuinely want this. It's coming from within me. You may move through more than one of these in a single moment. None of them is wrong. They're simply different, and knowing which one you're in changes what you actually need next. The question worth asking yourself, anytime: what's actually happening here right now? Read the full post on The Journal, including the full Four Intimacy Modes™ framework: here |
Shamaree | Relationship & Intimacy Expert
Shamaree is the founder of Shamaree LAB™, an intimacy education and coaching brand built around The Intimacy Shift™, a framework for understanding your relationship with intimacy, not fixing it. She's also a licensed therapist and the founder of [Re]Defining Relationships Therapy, a separate clinical practice. Explore the free Assessment, workshops, and resources below, and join the newsletter for reflections on desire, intimacy, and self-trust.
Most people don't start worrying about libido because they woke up curious about desire. They start worrying because something feels different than it used to. That's usually the moment the fixing begins. More effort. More supplements. More trying to "get in the mood." And if none of that worked, you may have quietly concluded something is wrong with you. Here's a different starting point: your libido isn't a problem to solve. It's information. Libido is connected to four areas of your life...
Is there a part of your desire or sexuality you've never fully let yourself claim, not because it isn't real, but because claiming it felt like too much? Your sexuality didn't form in a vacuum. It was shaped by your culture, your family, your history, what you've survived, and what you've been told you are, sometimes by people who never asked you what was true. Most conversations about intimacy focus on what you want and how to communicate it. Underneath all of that sits a quieter, older...