Shamaree is the founder of Shamaree LAB™, an intimacy education and coaching brand built around The Intimacy Shift™, a framework for understanding your relationship with intimacy, not fixing it. She's also a licensed therapist and the founder of [Re]Defining Relationships Therapy, a separate clinical practice. Explore the free Assessment, workshops, and resources below, and join the newsletter for reflections on desire, intimacy, and self-trust.
What's Actually Yours vs. What You Were Taught
|
Is there a part of your desire or sexuality you've never fully let yourself claim, not because it isn't real, but because claiming it felt like too much? Your sexuality didn't form in a vacuum. It was shaped by your culture, your family, your history, what you've survived, and what you've been told you are, sometimes by people who never asked you what was true. Most conversations about intimacy focus on what you want and how to communicate it. Underneath all of that sits a quieter, older question: how much of what you believe about your own sexuality is actually yours? Many of us are living from inherited expectations without realizing it. Beliefs about desirability and what a woman is "supposed" to be often arrive so early, and from so many directions, that they start to feel like personal truths instead of messages we absorbed. Untangling the two isn't about deciding your beliefs are wrong. It's about finally being able to tell which ones were actually chosen. Read the full post on The Journal: here |
Shamaree | Relationship & Intimacy Expert
Shamaree is the founder of Shamaree LAB™, an intimacy education and coaching brand built around The Intimacy Shift™, a framework for understanding your relationship with intimacy, not fixing it. She's also a licensed therapist and the founder of [Re]Defining Relationships Therapy, a separate clinical practice. Explore the free Assessment, workshops, and resources below, and join the newsletter for reflections on desire, intimacy, and self-trust.
Most people don't start worrying about libido because they woke up curious about desire. They start worrying because something feels different than it used to. That's usually the moment the fixing begins. More effort. More supplements. More trying to "get in the mood." And if none of that worked, you may have quietly concluded something is wrong with you. Here's a different starting point: your libido isn't a problem to solve. It's information. Libido is connected to four areas of your life...
Not everything that feels like wanting is the same thing. In any given moment, what looks like desire could actually be one of four different experiences: Desire — I genuinely want this. It's coming from within me.Response — My body is reacting, but I'm not sure I'm choosing it.Performance — I feel expected to engage. I'm playing a role.Anxiety — I feel urgency or pressure that could be mistaken for wanting. You may move through more than one of these in a single moment. None of them is...